The Gentleman's Shorties?
February 12th 2008 15:54
The Gentleman's Shorties?
I swear to this day I still blush when I recall that ten minute bus ride home.
Seven in the evening and after spending almost twelve hours at the office, I wanted to do nothing more than go home and throw myself on the couch. And don't let anyone bring the speech of a 'couch potato' before me; this is one day I damn deserved my couch.
The morning had started as per usual; bus at six in the morning; office before seven; lunch at one and then lo and behold one urgent document after another until I dragged myself home on the evening train to thankfully, the waiting bus home and as I explained, my couch.
So, here I was, on the local bus, seated on the only available seat, when my knee happened to knock into the knee of the gentleman seated before me. "Excuse me," I said, embarrassed. I wasn't the type to knock knees, you see.
But as I made myself comfortable, I couldn't help but notice the attire of this elderly gentleman before me. Cream Fedora hat with a small brown toned feather tucked into the encircling satin ribbon. Very tight silk cream shirt. Must have cost him a fortune, I thought to myself. Knee length cream socks – matching leather cream shoes. Oh, and Linen cream colored shorts – very tight.
I smiled. I couldn't help it. All I could think about was that this gentleman was the epitome of the character actor I used to watch in an English series called "Are You Being Served."
And as if he could tell what I was thinking - he glared at me.
Did I tell you he looked like he was well into his seventies?
Well, I settled back in my seat and cursed the stupidity of leaving my magazine on the train. Even though it was a short few minute bus ride home, I was finding it difficult cast my eyes anywhere but at the gentleman and his tight tight shirt and short, short, shorts!
I couldn't very well stare out the window - an elderly woman with teased hair and an enormous hat had had taken that view.
And I couldn't very well sit sideways across my seat - the heavily overweight local fruiterer just then decided to sit half on and half off his side of the seat and smile at me.
Maybe I should close my eyes? Yeah, right. And miss my stop.
The bus took the first of two corners hard. Oh, goodness, with the next turn, not only did my knee bump into his knee again, but I jerked forward, almost landing into this gentleman's lap.
I apologised profusely.
But when I regained my composure I discovered I was still leaning forward and staring at the front of his - shorts!
With a whoosh, this gentleman dumped his hat on his lap. And glared at me, his hand still on his hat.
I jumped up, grabbed my bag and got off at the next stop.
Okay, I know I got off well before my own stop, but the whole incident was doing my head in and I definitely needed some fresh air.
Given that I was constantly bumping into this Gentleman and given his attire was something to think about - I can't help but wonder - what exactly was going through HIS mind?
I swear to this day I still blush when I recall that ten minute bus ride home.
Seven in the evening and after spending almost twelve hours at the office, I wanted to do nothing more than go home and throw myself on the couch. And don't let anyone bring the speech of a 'couch potato' before me; this is one day I damn deserved my couch.
The morning had started as per usual; bus at six in the morning; office before seven; lunch at one and then lo and behold one urgent document after another until I dragged myself home on the evening train to thankfully, the waiting bus home and as I explained, my couch.
So, here I was, on the local bus, seated on the only available seat, when my knee happened to knock into the knee of the gentleman seated before me. "Excuse me," I said, embarrassed. I wasn't the type to knock knees, you see.
But as I made myself comfortable, I couldn't help but notice the attire of this elderly gentleman before me. Cream Fedora hat with a small brown toned feather tucked into the encircling satin ribbon. Very tight silk cream shirt. Must have cost him a fortune, I thought to myself. Knee length cream socks – matching leather cream shoes. Oh, and Linen cream colored shorts – very tight.
I smiled. I couldn't help it. All I could think about was that this gentleman was the epitome of the character actor I used to watch in an English series called "Are You Being Served."
And as if he could tell what I was thinking - he glared at me.
Did I tell you he looked like he was well into his seventies?
Well, I settled back in my seat and cursed the stupidity of leaving my magazine on the train. Even though it was a short few minute bus ride home, I was finding it difficult cast my eyes anywhere but at the gentleman and his tight tight shirt and short, short, shorts!
I couldn't very well stare out the window - an elderly woman with teased hair and an enormous hat had had taken that view.
And I couldn't very well sit sideways across my seat - the heavily overweight local fruiterer just then decided to sit half on and half off his side of the seat and smile at me.
Maybe I should close my eyes? Yeah, right. And miss my stop.
The bus took the first of two corners hard. Oh, goodness, with the next turn, not only did my knee bump into his knee again, but I jerked forward, almost landing into this gentleman's lap.
I apologised profusely.
But when I regained my composure I discovered I was still leaning forward and staring at the front of his - shorts!
With a whoosh, this gentleman dumped his hat on his lap. And glared at me, his hand still on his hat.
I jumped up, grabbed my bag and got off at the next stop.
Okay, I know I got off well before my own stop, but the whole incident was doing my head in and I definitely needed some fresh air.
Given that I was constantly bumping into this Gentleman and given his attire was something to think about - I can't help but wonder - what exactly was going through HIS mind?
...000…
[ Text and original characters copyright © 2008 by Teresa Strati ]
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